6 Tips to Make Him Chase You

Make Him Chase YouIt is not uncommon for women to chase men but still, most women want to be chased and pursued by men. So how to make him chase you?

Play hard to get. Men love to be challenged and they love the chase so play hard to get and make him chase you instead. Men value something or someone he worked hard for. Let him do what men should be doing, that is be the one who pursue women. Give him the feeling that he earned you.

Be mysterious. Spilling every detail of your life or pouring all your feelings is not very attractive to most men. Actually, this behavior could scare men especially if you just met or just started dating. Be a little mysterious and let him wonder about your life. The curiosity will make him chase you.

Always look good. Take care of your appearance. Practice good hygiene and put attention to small details like your feet and nails. Some women love to wear nice sandals and open shoes but sometimes forget to take care of their feet. Dress to kill or wear clothes that make you look sexy and classy at the same time but remember that being sexy doesn’t mean showing more skin. You can be sexy without revealing too much and besides, you do not want to send a wrong message to men. Choose a hairstyle that looks good on you. Take care of your skin. Maintain a healthy and fit body. Men are visual and they love seeing women who look good. Your good looks will make him chase you.

Have a sense of humor. The ability to make everyone around you laugh is admirable. Most men want to be with someone who has a bright aura. Women can be serious or dramatic and this trait sometimes scare men or they find them boring. So when a man meet a woman who is witty, jolly and with sense of humor, he most likely want to be with her again because there is no dull moments with her and she can get along with different types of people. It is not that this woman doesn’t have a serious side or doesn’t have problems but it just that she sees the brighter side, can still laugh and make others laugh despite the realities of life. This trait is truly admirable and can make him chase you.

Be a good listener. There is this common notion that women are big talkers which is an advantage sometimes especially if they are with men who are the silent type. But talking too much could scare men away because no matter how silent a man is, he still wants to be heard. A woman who knows that conversation is not only about talking but it is also about listening is admirable. A woman who knows how to encourage men to talk and knows how to listen is the kind of woman most men would like to chase.

Be smart and intelligent. If women are attracted to intelligent or smart men, it is the same with men. Men want to be challenged. Men want to be with women who can carry conversations with them about anything. You must be a person who likes to read, good at something or likes to learn new things. She may not know everything but she’s smart to show interest on thing he’s passionate about.

6 Traits Men Are Attracted To

A woman's smileThere are certain traits that attract men. Every man has their own preference, but there are general traits that make a woman attractive to most men. Here are some of the traits men are attracted to:

A woman’s smile. A smile is a universal language for being friendly and most men are attracted to women with beautiful smile. We often hear people saying “smile and the whole world will smile at you” and it is true. It is an infectious gesture and one of the traits men are attracted to.

A woman’s feminine nature. Not all women are feminine, that is why men love to see the feminine side of women because it is one of the traits men are attracted to. Aside from the long hair, smooth skin, long legs, slim body, soft voice and attractive eyes which are all physical traits, the compassionate kindhearted soul, caring and nurturing nature of women are all feminine nature that are attractive to most men. Being feminine doesn’t mean being overly shy. A feminine woman is sociable, but with good manners and not loud. She carries herself well and exudes a feminine aura.

A woman who is down to earth. Most men stay away from arrogant and demanding women. Yes it is true that most women want to be treated like a princess, but this doesn’t mean that you have to act like one. A woman with a princess syndrome is not the kind of woman who attract men because being down-to-earth is one of the traits men are attracted to.

A woman with a strong personality. Having a strong personality is not being conceited, but it means being mentally strong. A woman who knows how to survive despite the harsh reality of life. She’s confident about herself and knows her worth. She’s a women with a positive outlook in life and not easily swayed by negative things.

An independent woman. Although it is true that no man is an island, men are attracted to women who are not completely dependent to others. Most men stay away from needy women. Men admire women who can live on their own and can make their own decisions especially major decisions in life.

An intelligent woman. Men want to be challenged and although most men are attracted to beautiful women, intelligence is one of the traits men are attracted to. They want women who can converse with them and can challenge their minds. They want women who are good at something and does not depend solely on their physical appearance.

With the increasing number of single women, the competition for eligible men is not easy. If you have the traits men are attracted to, you are ahead of other women.

7 Traits That Make a Woman Stand Out

She has her own styleWith a lot of single women like you out there and most single men are already taken, the competition for single men is high. To succeed in dating, a woman should be capable of getting the attention of those single men. So what makes a woman stand out?

She’s oozing with confidence. Take note, it is confidence and not arrogance because those are two different things. An arrogant person is someone who thinks she’s better than anyone else. A confident woman is someone who knows her worth but still respects others. A confident woman knows her value, knows what she wants and knows how to get it. Confidence is one of the traits that makes a woman stand out.

She has her own style. She’s not a copy cut but she has her own style and personality. Many women are victims of hypes and trying to look like someone who is popular so these women end up like replicas who dress alike and act alike. It is not bad to follow the trend but a woman who stands out knows herself and has her own style, a style that suits her personality. Having a style of her own makes a woman stand out. A woman who exudes her own style stands out in the midst of women who dress and act alike.

She looks at the brighter side. A woman who is not melodramatic and does not take things too seriously is admirable. Life can be full of drama and unexpected circumstances but she knows how to look at the brighter side and do not let stress and problems take the best of her. A woman who has the ability to look at the brighter side despite the harsh realities of life makes her stand out. A positive attitude makes a woman stand out.

She’s fun to be with. Although she doesn’t live an easy-going life, she can be spontaneous and can have an easy-going attitude once in a while. She doesn’t make a big deal out of everything. She knows how to have fun and she’s fun to be with.

She’s good at something. What a ballerina, a woman book author or a writer, a woman who paints and showcase her works in art galleries or exhibits, an excellent cook, a woman who designs clothes, a woman who can play musical instruments and a woman who plays sports have in common? They stand out because they are skilled and good at something. Not all women who are good at something were born gifted but they are women who are passionate about something and coupled their passion with actions. You can do the same if you want to stand out. What is your passion? Are you doing something about it? Being good at something makes a woman stand out.

She can express herself and can make decisions. Many women avoid making decisions and airing their opinions because they are afraid. They leave those things to men which some men find a little burdensome. The ability to make decisions and speak her mind can make a woman stand out. She doesn’t have to be forceful but when asked, she should be able to express herself and make decisions.

Her independence. She’s not clingy. She’s comfortable on her own and she knows how to handle her life. Although she wants a man in her life, her world doesn’t revolve only around men. She has her own thing going and she’s in control of her own life. She can live on her own and not needy.

5 Tips in Dealing With a Shy Guy Dating Tips for Women

Shy Guy DatingGuys should pursue women. That is the natural order but what if the guy is so shy? Some women find themselves liking a shy guy and end up so frustrated because they keep waiting for him to do the first move. Dealing with a shy guy could be a challenge and you need to have the guts to make the first move, at least until he gets comfortable around you because sometimes all a guy needs is a girl who can help him overcome his shyness. Are you dealing with a shy guy? Here are some helpful tips.

Do not take his shyness personally. A guy’s shyness has nothing to do with you. A shy guy is naturally uncomfortable around women so do not think that he’s uncomfortable only with you and do not think that something is wrong with you. Shyness is just part of his nature but it has nothing to do with his feelings towards you. Dealing with a shy guy can be very difficult if you will start taking it personally and will start thinking something is wrong with you.

Learn how to engage him in a conversation. You could wait forever for a shy guy to start the conversation so you have to learn how to make him engage in a conversation. It requires guts to initiate a conversation with guy who is extremely shy but if you really like him, it is best to try than not to try at all. Before taking a step forward and initiate a conversation, find a common interest between the two of you so that you know what to talk about. Maybe you both love music or you both love a certain hobby. Once there is a common interest, it is easier to engage him to talk or have a conversation with you. It may take a while for a shy guy to engage in a face-to-face conversation so in this case, social media, chat apps and text messaging can be very helpful to start the conversation and get to know each other well before facing each other. No matter what the medium is, the most important thing in dealing with a shy guy is to help him talk and open up to you.

Be patient. Guys who are shy need time to feel comfortable with the opposite sex and rushing him or forcing him to go out of his shell will not be helpful. Dealing with a shy guy requires patience. Do not expect a fast progress. If he managed to start texting you, do not pressure him to make frequent calls. Take things slowly. Do not rush him but provide him a comfortable environment and make him feel that he is free to express himself when he’s ready. Do not pressure him or force him but let things happen naturally.

Respect his privacy. A shy guy can be very private and it is a big leap for him to step forward and share things with you so if he managed to accomplish that, respect his shared feelings. It is best to keep those things for yourself. He may not appreciate hearing that you shared those things he confided to you with your family and friends. It is important to gain his trust and confidence for him to continue opening himself to you. Dealing with a shy guy requires you to be respectful of his shared feelings and his privacy.

Make him feel good about himself. A shy guy lacks confidence maybe because he has insecurities or does not know his worth. In dealing with a shy guy, it is important to help him boost his confidence. Make him feel that he matters. If you need help on something he is good at, do not hesitate to ask help from him. But it is important that you are sincere and not only pretending that you need help just to make him feel good. Sincerely praise him and remember even the little things he shared with you. Let him know that shyness is something that can be defeated and let him feel that he is not alone because people including you can be shy too once in a while.

Dealing with a shy guy can be a challenge but if you know what to do, you can help this guy go out of his shell and enjoy dating.

Relationship Mistakes Guys Make And Possible Solutions

Relationship Mistakes Guys MakeWhen you are attracted to a lady, you should not make a fool of yourself if you are not ready for a real intimate connection. Getting involved with a lady for the wrong reasons brings disappointment, pains and unrest. You should look out for the right reasons and work on these reasons to stay in love and be happy.

Dating someone because you think she will be sexually appealing is wrong. A struggle not true to you, is wrong to be part of that struggle. Sexual act does not add value to you. It takes away your self-esteem especially when you are not true to yourself. She might look dashing, all equip for a sexual connection but it is wrong reasoning to want to tangle with her.

You should not get intimate with her because of her high social class or personality. I have observed that guys from humble background often partake in this act in order to gain some influential and financial advantages.

You should work out better ways for yourself to feel useful and not rely on other’s advantages. It makes people think little of you if you are always looking out to them for certain privileges.

You should stop judging your lady too often. It makes her feel invaluable, flexible and feasible to make more mistakes. Your relationship should not be feasible to mistakes. You have to encourage her to be better, improve and grow.

In a relationship, whenever you want to correct or impact, you should be watchful of your words and its influence on your audience. You should not use wrong words to correct her. It will make her feel little of herself and possibly make her feel unwanted and unappreciated. This alone could drive her away.

If you truly love her, learn from her how you could possibly transform her.

Exercising too much control over her will drive her away from you. This will cause her to hide things from you. A relationship on secrets will only produce lies and frustration. If you want to have genuine and sincere relationship, let the love affair be flexible.

Whenever you are with a lady and you do not aim to improve or motivate her into doing the things that will prosper her, you are a disadvantage to her. She will soon realize that you are a disadvantage to her and possibly flee from you.

Guys need ideas to stay in a relationship. Without the proper idea or input, your relationship with her will grow weary. You have to search for ways to nourish and keep your relationship with her before she realizes you are dull and decide to dash off from the relationship.

How To Dress Perfectly on That First Date

Dress PerfectlyWe all get nervous when we get asked out to a date and it’s an added bonus if we have been interested in the person for some time before that happens. As soon as we get asked out, our brain hits overdrive and we go through our entire closet in our heads, pairing things and working out an outfit depending on the time of the date.

Don’t get too nervous here are some safe bets that you can work with and look fabulous on that first date from your dress to designer jewelry and footwear. So let’s go:

1. Go Red

Red is the most opted for color when it comes to dates. Men respond well to red and are attracted to it (research proven!). So if you want to look drop dead gorgeous go for a little red dress along with your fine jewelry. It doesn’t always have to be a red dress, you can use a red skirt with a leather jacket or a red blouse but if you think red is not your color, add red to you look by using a simple red lipstick.

2. The Summer Look

You need to look relaxed and happy on your date even if there is a tornado of emotions inside you, so in order to do that go for the perfect summer look. Choose soft fabrics and prints with are feminine and give a happy feel. A summer dress or a plain silk dress with heels works absolutely fine. It needs to be subtle but quirky as well. You don’t the guy to think that you are too subtle as well.

3. Know Your Plus Points

Do not experiment on your first date and play your strength. If you have a great figure show it off, that does not mean you expose, it means that you wear something that makes your body look good and which you are comfortable in. if you have great legs, show them off by wearing dress or a skirt. You can wear designer jewelry along with any choice you make to add a bit of zest.

4. Be Confident Of You Style

Confidence is attractive. Don’t be uncomfortable or overly cautious of your clothes. If it makes you feel vulnerable or uncomfortable don’t wear it. Confidence is your best feature and it should come out from your outfit. So always choose something you like and feel at ease in.

5. Have a Pair Just For Date

Heels always look great for a date unless it is an outdoorsy or walk in the park sort of date. You need a comfortable pair that does not hurt your feet too much like wedges or pumps. Do not wear a new pair of anything be it heels or ballet flats or your date will end in shoe bites and sore feet which you don’t want.

6. An Outdoorsy Outfit

In case your date is outside, like in a park where you are going for a picnic or a walk. Try a pair of cute shorts and loose top; you can wear wedges or flats whichever you like. It needs a casual look. Don’t dress up too much for this as it will look out of place. A cute outdoorsy outfit is as important as anything. It can be a pair of ripped jeans a white t-shirt or blouse as well.

You can add designer jewelry like a pair of earrings or bracelets and anklets to your outfit.

7. Chill With The Make-up

Please do not go overboard with your make-up. Stick to a natural look which brings out your personality. A natural color foundation, eyeliner and nice shade of lipstick are more than enough. You don’t need bright eye shadows and loud lips or rosy/bronze cheeks. Be yourself on a date that is what makes the other person like you.

On Why Being in a Relationship Will Always Be My Choice

DatesEvery Time I have dinner and catch-up with my friends, I find myself enjoying the conquests of my single friends and the ‘fun’ they had with their erratic partners. I asked myself whether I am willing to give up a decade worth of a committed relationship for single blessedness and opportunity for boyfriend hopping. Do I love being in a relationship rather be single or have casual boyfriends? Here are my two cents.

Dates

My partner and I were good friends back in high school. One day, we just found ourselves ‘dating’. Since we were in high school, it took us years before we could go on proper dates. But, our high school dates were as fancy as it could get. He wasn’t my boyfriend just yet. But, I realize that his antics are far more elaborate before than our date nights now. He admitted that those were to impress me. Does he not want to impress me now? Then I realized that I am as guilty.

When we were five years into the relationship, I knew why I enjoy being in a relationship. We have become content with home movies and homemade popcorn with our favourite beer. This has been our dates ever since. It was not all bad with him cuddling me during the entire movie.

Gifts

It is true that being in a relationship, special occasions or not, a serious boyfriend shower you with pretty blooms and boxes of your favourite chocolates, simply because he feels like doing so. He may scour an entire flower shop only to get you the best flowers just because he misses you.

But, this is not the reason why I enjoy having a committed affair. It is the happiness you get from simple things given by the significant other. For couples who have been together for so long, the most priceless gifts are the simplest ones. Materialistic presents hold no significance against the time and effort you could give your partner.

Care

The couples’ lives differ from singles’ or from those in a non-serious relationship in a way that your significant others would want to know where you are or where you’re going. They are not trying to go down your throats and put you on a short leash. Love comes with care, and partners care that you are safe while having fun.

My single friends have the freedom to do whatever they want without being asked. It is definitely less of a hassle. But, I like to see to it that if things go wrong, I have someone who knows where I am and maybe with a brush of luck will get me out of trouble, on time.

But, whether you are with or without someone, happiness and love is a choice that you can freely make. In this life, we will always have reasons to be happy and content. The adventures and endless stories shared with me and my friends (single and not) are proofs of that.

Rebound Love Is Not For the Broken Heart

Rebound LoveObliterated beyond recognition, that is the status of your heart.

You are currently broken and is in dire need of a cure. Don’t rush things, you are obviously not ready to enter into a new relationship. You will learn to move on soon, but before that happens, focus on healing yourself. You are still very vulnerable. Pretty soon, you will also become desperate. You’ll be hopeless to find a rebound love to recover from the affection you have lost.

To love another after a failed relationship is not wrong. It only becomes inappropriate when you enter into it even though you are completely aware that you have not yet moved on. This is absolutely unfair to the other person. You’ll be toying with his emotions.

Here are a few reasons why rebound love is definitely not for you.

You won’t let him love you. Being in a new relationship does not guarantee your recovery from the past. This will bring you to continue reminiscing of your Ex and worst is, you might even compare them. You will not see the current one as a ‘real’ person. He will just be your puppet to use in times of your emotional need. It will not be a healthy relationship.

Because you are broken inside, your focus would be on protecting yourself from heartaches. You will hold back. Too much emotional attachment would scare you. Your judgment will definitely be biased and you will not be able to give the other person the opportunity to love the ‘whole’ you, instead of the bitter version of you who’s still broken.

You won’t be able to reciprocate his feelings. You cannot give back what you do not have. You are out of love and right now, the least you can do is to give time alone and let yourself heal. Although your intention is not to hurt the person, you are already hurting him from the moment you let him expect that you’ll love him. Being single does not mean that you are unloved. It simply signifies your strength as a person, your independence. You’ve got to learn how to be happy without depending on another person.

You will only hurt yourself in the process. A relationship will always require an emotional investment. The moment you hurt the other person because you can’t reciprocate his feelings will also take its toll on you. You would pity yourself and regret your decision. Again, you have just stabbed your ‘already’ wounded heart. You are punishing yourself. Do your heart a favor, spare it from pain when you are still not ready.

Avoiding Dating Disasters The Second Time Around

Dating DisastersAfter escaping my abusive marriage, it was quite some time before I could begin to see men with any measure of objectivity, for during the craziness that came with divorcing my abuser, I arrived at the convenient conclusion that all men were scum. My new mantra was clear and simple, and it felt good to finally embrace what felt like truth.

Having two sons, though, I knew they need not be destined for such a fate, and after more than two years of intense counseling, there finally came a moment when the high stone wall of disillusionment began to weaken, giving way to the remotest possibility of genuine relationship, when a flicker of hope began to warm my wounded, distrusting heart.

But reentering the dating world is not an easy thing after coming out of a relationship based on the lowest common denominators. I was admittedly terrified at the possibility of making another life-altering mistake that would affect not only me but my children. I didn’t ever want to play the fool once again or spend even one more night crying myself to sleep.

I presumed, as many of us 40-ish folks do, that all the good ones are taken. I also realized that the odds were slim that any God-fearing man in his right mind would spend more than ten minutes in the presence of a shell-shocked, forty-something woman with four equally emotionally damaged children.

Looking back, it certainly does seem miraculous that I survived the Christian dating minefield (which is an appropriate description) and eventually met the love of my life and married him a little over nine years ago. Based on my second-time-around experience, I would like to offer abuse survivors contemplating re-entering the dating world some basic suggestions. They have been cobbled together from my understanding of our enabling tendencies bolstered by the lessons I learned through the dating process.

There is no scientific basis for what I share, and this commentary is intended almost exclusively for women, as I believe that a woman’s profoundly unique inclinations to operate as nurturers and helpmates also tend to make us prime abuser-bait. So as you consider re-entering this realm, these are a few things I would urge you to remember.

  • Remember that you need time to heal. You may never heal completely, but you need to be sufficiently healthy and emotionally strong enough to recognize unsafe or unhealthy men and walk away from them without blinking. There is no specific timeline for testing those waters; however, if you are dangerously fragile and are torn between jumping in or waiting a while longer, please wait. Time for healing and a balanced measure of wholeness are important pursuits and should not be rushed. Furthermore, loneliness is a poor motivation and could leave you vulnerable. You need to be okay by yourself before you can be okay with someone else.
  • Remember the needs of your children. Make sure your home base is well-covered and that your children feel secure and are able to handle any additional time you are away from them. Consider whether they are okay with the idea of you dating. Keep their needs first in this process even if that means waiting.

With children in mind, I personally recommend meeting new people at a neutral, public location rather than your home, at least until you feel like the relationship may have some long-term potential, so that men are not going in and out of your children’s lives. You don’t want them to get the impression that relationships are inherently temporary, nor do you want them to grow too attached to someone who may or may not remain in their lives.

  • Remember that you have already been through hell. If you don’t want to walk that road again, avoid the kind of man who will be more than happy to take you there. Even if you know what kind of relationship you want, you may be attracted to something else, something familiar – and unsafe. This is not a call to paranoia, but rather to caution, a reminder to be willing to see legitimate issues, as we – as recovering abuse victims – have been trained to rationalize away those waving red and yellow flags.
  • Remember to be patient. This is not a race, and you are not looking for any man’s attention, you are waiting for the right man’s attention. Whether you choose to wait for an acquaintance to ask you out to lunch or you decide to join a dating website, try not to panic, push or rush things, and listen, listen, listen to your instincts. Don’t feel any obligation to “make it work.” If that is your attitude, you are likely headed down a very familiar and unhealthy path.
  • Remember that you want a protector not a project. Any man with whom you decide to spend some time should be emotionally and spiritually balanced and healthy. He should be a gentleman, not a show-boater, someone who sees you and hears what you have to say. He should be someone who would clearly look out for your needs rather than merely seeking to meet his own.
  • Remember to set your standards high and hold to them. Just because a guy notices you does not necessarily make him worthy of your attention. You are under no obligation whatsoever to “give a guy a chance.” If there is something in his manner or attitude that makes you uncomfortable, don’t waste your time or his. You’re better off saying, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

If you hear a familiar voice whispering, “Maybe this is as good as it gets,” then know you are being tempted to settle for far less than you want, need and deserve.

One guy with whom I had met for coffee called one afternoon to invite me to go swing dancing with him that evening. I told him I didn’t particularly enjoy swing dancing and would rather not. He curtly responded, “A confident woman is comfortable in any situation.” I told him that was nice, but that I still wasn’t going swing dancing with him. His attempt to shame me into going out with him told me everything I needed to know. End of story.

  • Remember to go slow. If a guy you barely know invites you to dinner, arrives at the door with a dozen long-stemmed roses and a box of chocolates and takes you an uptown French restaurant on a first date, he may well be expecting more than a good-night kiss at the end of the evening. He may be assuming that, after a nice evening, you owe him. So make it clear from the get-go that you can’t be bought, and you want to take it slow. After all you have done to reclaim your life and your value, don’t be foolish enough to give it away.

It’s a good idea to meet for coffee, take a walk, go miniature golfing, hit a movie and generally keep it casual while you’re getting to know someone. Spend time in a variety of situations to see how he responds to them – and to you. One guy I dated was attentive when we were out together, but when we showed up to a party with his friends, he suddenly treated me like I was invisible, as though he was ashamed of me. That was the real him.

With those basics in play, I’d like to offer some “dos” and “don’ts” worth considering. In no particular order, I recommend that you avoid dating a guy who…

  • Is married (even if he says he is getting a divorce);
  • Needs rescuing;
  • Makes you uncomfortable;
  • Makes you feel unimportant;
  • Is inconsistent (hot one day and cold the next);
  • Is boastful;
  • Is heavy on flattery;
  • Can’t keep his hands off you;
  • Doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer;
  • Can’t seem to hold down a job;
  • Can’t manage his finances;
  • Plays an enabling role in his family;
  • Has jerky friends – or no friends;
  • Has an impossible dream;
  • Has an impossible ego;
  • Has a hot temper;
  • Has an addiction;
  • Has a foul mouth;
  • Verbally “bashes” his former wife or girlfriends;
  • Is eyeballing other women when he’s with you;
  • Is disrespectful or flirtatious toward hostesses, servers and cashiers;
  • Is chronically late;
  • Is obsessed with you;
  • Doesn’t give you eye contact, listen well or acknowledge you during conversation;
  • Blames someone or something for everything that has ever gone wrong in his life;
  • Doesn’t treat you with respect;
  • Makes you cry.

And, of course: Don’t date a guy who reveals any abusive tendencies. If for any reason he becomes demeaning, harsh, accusatory, possessive or manipulative, walk away and don’t look back.

On the other hand, men with a solid history, good friends and a gentlemanly, positive attitude are a safer bet. Don’t be afraid to spend some time with the guy who…

  • Sees time spent together as an investment in the relationship rather than a necessary evil;
  • Is a good listener;
  • Is a protector of you and others under his charge;
  • Doesn’t need to be the center of attention;
  • Doesn’t freak out about the cost of things or flaunt his wealth;
  • Is respectful to you and everyone else he encounters;
  • Understands the differences between men and women in a good way;
  • Arrives on time to meet you or pick you up or calls to let you know if he’ll be a little late;
  • Enjoys spending time with his family and friends – and yours;
  • Has healthy hobbies, interests and outlets;
  • Is not addicted – to alcohol, drugs, pornography, television or even technology;
  • Can manage his money, his work, and his household;
  • Looks you in the eye and responds sincerely during conversation;
  • Can confess his life stresses without whining about them or blaming everyone else for them;
  • Trusts you;
  • Is confident without being cocky;
  • Returns your phone call in a timely manner;
  • Is conscious of your comfort level in unfamiliar situations;
  • Doesn’t pressure you when he takes you home;
  • Pays your way (or not, if that is more appropriate for the situation);
  • Can maturely and responsibly handle inconveniences or crises;
  • Is interested in you as a person and not just your body; and
  • (As a believer), has a genuine, personal relationship with God, not just a church.
  • Remember to protect your heart. Just because a man pursues you does not mean you should let him catch you. If your heart is screaming ‘no,’ listen. And if your heart is encouraging you to say ‘yes,’ but something in your head is whispering ‘no’ (or vice versa), remember that you were misled once before. Take a step back, try to be more objective and seek counsel from those who know him and/or you. Or just give the relationship more time. Don’t ignore or attempt to minimize any red or yellow flags. Don’t believe for one minute that you can help, fix or change him. Just walk away.
  • Remember to be open to feedback. If your friends and/or family are telling you that there is something wrong, listen. The odds are good the people who love you see something to which your eyes may have been blinded. If you find yourself defending him to others, there is almost certainly a problem that you are working too hard to overlook. On the other hand, if people see someone genuine and emotionally healthy, then let it ride.
  • Remember that you don’t want or need a man. You want to share your life with one man – the right man, a man who will see you and prize you and love you for the rest of your life. Pray for him. Wait for him. And if you don’t meet him, maybe it’s because the time isn’t right, or you are just fine all by yourself. Being on your own is far better than feeling perpetually stressed, unhappy or emotionally neglected, living with someone who doesn’t truly love, enjoy and appreciate you. And you might want to avoid kissing any frogs until you are pretty dang certain that there is a prince in there.
  • Remember that you don’t want to just be with someone you love; you want to be with someone with whom you are in love – someone who is also in love with you. I believe there is a profound difference. I am not talking about obsession, which is unbalanced and unhealthy and controlling, but a love where there is connection, commonality and chemistry. Wait for someone you know you want in your life for the rest of your life.

Busting Myths About Being in a Relationship

in a RelationshipHere are relationship myths that we need to break.

Time for yourself is as important as the time for your significant other

You would think that being in a relationship will require spending a lot of time with your partner. But, personal time is still of great value. I sometimes lie to my boyfriend that I am asleep when in fact I am reading the latest book by my favorite author. Don’t get me wrong here. I love our times together, but I also give importance to the person I am outside of the relationship. How do I balance that? It is just a matter of telling him that I need time to fawn over my books and TV series. He will understand you, trust me.

When you are not in a relationship, your time is yours alone. Being in a relationship requires that you will have time for your significant other as well as for yourself. So if personal time is important, why do I still want to be committed to somebody? The thing I love about it is that you could get meaningful and valuable time both ways. You get to spend time wisely on top of being happy doing things.

Grooming is important inside and outside of a relationship

They say that a good boyfriend does not care about your flaws, physical look included. It is true. The boyfriend does not mind that I forget to comb my hair or not put on makeup. Unlike when you are still hunting for a partner, you need to place the best foot forward by looking good. It is as important as being confident. Clearly, it is terrific to have someone appreciate and love everything about you, stretch marks and all.

But, there is a misconception about grooming when you are in a committed relationship. Love me regardless of how I look. This may be a sweet and ‘awwwe’-inducing statement, but grooming is important when you are single or not. It is for your personal hygiene and good health.

Texting and communication are not only focused on the significant other

You may think that for the completely single and in a casual relationship, text conversation list is a hodgepodge of parents, work and endless unidentified number of random hookups and crushes. At some point, it is also true to most people who are tied down except maybe for hookups and crushes. Couples have each other on top of the list in line with work or school contacts and their parents. But they also have millions of messages from friends.

Busted! Relationships have its highs and lows. Some misconceptions are just it. It is a matter or setting limits, being honest and compromises.